Recently, a few people from my company and I participated in the McDonald's Worldwide Convention in Florida. The convention itself is a whole other post; one day I'll try to sum up the glory that was the largest Entertainment McDonalds in the world, or the sheer number of Big Macs I can consume when a neverending supply of Big Macs is available.

For now, I want to share what I learned on the last day of the convention. It was a night that gave me more ideas for my next investment pitch than all the meetings, classes, and workshops I've ever attended. Because on the final night of the convention, we went to a JLo show.

Here are the lessons JLo taught me, which I have since included in my presentations (and sometimes also while ordering take-out and giving directions to tourists):

Big hair and a high powered fan is the best way to convey that you're going places, fast. If potential investors don't act quickly, you might blow away.
Keep things fresh with a costume change every three slides. Bonus points if the costume matches the slide. See how sexy you can make pie charts; it's fun!
There's no such thing as too much bling: show you don't even need investment with a solid gold catsuit. It's the best way to reduce any sense of risk.
Get everyone's energy up. Chant 'when I say NEXT! you say SLIDE!'.
The holy trinity of good presentations are: choreographed dancers, a hype man, and a backup track. These should also be full of bling.
Use a voice changer (for the ask slide). Nothing says 'I'm a good investment' like a booming robot voice.
Too many strobe lights can help distract investors from your alarming burn rate.
Really highlight your strong points by playing a video of people fist pumping and cheering behind you. This can even be a slide. If you're really good, this can be your whole presentation.

Thanks JLo. When I sell my company I'll buy you some warmer clothes.